12.07.2009

Bittersweet Holidays

For the past few years, I've been having a really difficult time getting into the Christmas spirit. It just isn't the same anymore without my mom here. I miss her cooking and the way we used to wake up to the smell of her cooking big elaborate breakfasts during the holidays. She was the best hostess, and threw the best parties, so good that my friends would ditch their own Christmas gatherings to come celebrate with us. Things are pretty different now. My dad, sister, and I have tried to avoid Christmas like the plague, but as expected, we found it to be an insurmountable task.

Today as I worked from home, I couldn't help but realize that Christmas is coming at full speed ahead. Everything from music to t.v., and not to forget the blogosphere is saturated with the holiday spirit. I felt like such a Grinch as I caught myself frowning at all the hoopla, and hated myself for doing so. So this year, instead of being a big fat Grinch, I'm going to make a serious effort to let go of painful things in the past, and sit back and enjoy the time I have with the people I love. I really and truly want to love Christmas again, I really do.

(i'm starting by participating in MerrySitsmas hosted by SITS !)

25 comments:

  1. Happy SITSmas! I hope you find your holiday spirit and the joy that awaits you. Have a wonderful week.

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  2. I hope you feel a little more jolly this holiday season. Merry SITSmas!

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  3. Let the joy of the season help you in moving on... it's such a fun-filled holiday and it's so difficult not to be a part of it.

    Glad to know that you're going to the Philippines this June. I'll take you around to the best shopping places. And you will be amazed how much the Philippines have changed.

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  4. Merry SITSmas! Wishing you joy this season and a wonderful new year filled with loveliness! Best wishes, C :).

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  5. I can't even imagine how tough this time of year can be for you! But I love you attitude and approach!! Merry SITSmas to you and your family. U wish you lots of love, laughter, a sweet memories

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  6. Good for you on turning this holiday around! I hope you rediscover the joy that the holidays can bring.

    And merry SITSmas, my fellow SITSta!

    - Margaret

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  7. Cute picture.I hope at you wishes come true and belived it.Merry SITSmas you and your family!Loveling and peaces...

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  8. Merry SITSmas. Maybe this time the Holiday Spirit will find you! :-) Best wishes

    Steph Jordan

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  9. Good for you on trying to let go and focus on now. I miss both my parents very much, but life does go on for us. I know they'd want me to make the most of the time I have here on Earth. Merry SITSmas!

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  10. Merry SITSmas - hope the holiday spirit warms your heart some this year and you start falling back in love with Christmas. And def enjoy the time with your loved ones here and now, as we never know what tomorrow will bring.

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  11. Oh you dear girl... I am sorry for your loss. I haven't had to endure that tragedy, but my father in law passed away at Christmas time (days b4 husband's birthday) and it ruined Christmas for us for years. So I relate a tiny bit.

    It's so hard, but you have to try to celebrate and make new memories with the loved ones you have. I am sure it would break her heart to know you are missing out on the joy because you're sorrowing in her memory.

    Here's to you. And your tender heart. And wishing that the soreness goes away enough for you to embrace again.

    Merry SITSmas to you.

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  12. awww.. Ms.Melissa, we have exact same feeling. we wake up too just because we smell the food that my dad cooks for us. like your mom, my dad cooks for us. and yes i admit as well that i miss it terribly :((
    thou now, i don't really care about Christmas that much. it will only remind me that its Christmas when i see Christmas Decoration around.I'm still moving on. but i will try my best to celebrate it like before.

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  13. Big hugs!! I hope you can enjoy the holidays once again.

    Merry SITSmas!!!

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  14. (((hugs))) I wish for you a very happy holiday!

    Merry SITSmas!

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  15. I know exactly how you feel. My Mom passed away when I was 16 in January. She did all the cooking, put up all the decorations around the house, made amazing cookies and fudge, and loved this time of year. And every year, I find I miss her most during the holidays. It's going to be 10 years since her passing, and I still haven't found a good way to cope. :/

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  16. It does get better with time. I've been missing my cousin for 8 years, 8 Christmases. I won't say it hurts less now or that the same old joyful magic that was once there is still it for me, but making that step really helps. You're allowed and encouraged to enjoy life, even Christmas.

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  17. you have such an adorable blog, i love your photography :)i hope this christmas will have a little less pain and a little more joy

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  18. I've always heard that it takes time to heal so don't rush yourself. I'm always here for you no matter how far away I am. :BIG HUG: Love you Missy!

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  19. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can imagine it would be hard to get back into the swing of things. But I bet your lovely mom would want you to. ((hugs))

    Wishing you a very merry SITSmas!

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  20. Merry SITS-mas. It will get easier remember your mom would want you to carry on and enjoy your life.

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  21. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hope that the Christmas spirit finds you and that you are able to enjoy the holidays!

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  22. yeah the music... I hear christmas songs all day on the radio, driving me nuts! I hope you have a great one this year ok?

    loves

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  23. Merry SITSmas greetings
    from Cairo!

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  24. I want to send you and your family lots of hugs. I hope this Christmas is the beginning of many wonderful ones in the future.

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